In the Old Testament there was a good king among the kings of Judah – king Hezekiah. When he started reigning, he put away all the idols, broke down their altars, purified the people, re-instituted the Passover, and brought the people of Judah and of Israel back to God, back to the worship of God. Even more, when the king of Assyria came with his armies to fight Judah, Hezekiah prayed to Jehovah and trusted in Him, and he also encouraged the people of Judah to do the same – therefore, God gave them the victory in a miraculous way. Still, even though Hezekiah was such a godly man, he was not a God-man, a man of God. His heart was not fully for God, rather, he had some interest and love for himself. Towards the end of his life he became sick and when Isaiah the prophet told him that he has only a few more days to live, Hezekiah went before the Lord and wept and begged Him to extend his days. God, for David’s sake(his forefather) extended Hezekiah’s days with 15 more years! Amazing! So then when the Babylonian king send some envoys to congratulate him about his healing from his deadly disease, Hezekiah showed these messengers ALL that he had. He bragged about his riches, his palace, his army, etc – everything! When then Isaiah the prophet came to ask him what did the Babylonian messengers see when they came to visit, Hezekiah was not ashamed to say that they saw everything he had, all his glory. And then it happened: Isaiah spoke God’s judgement on Hezekiah – all that the Babylonians saw, will be taken into captivity, and even some of Hezekiah’s household will also be taken captive by the Babylonians(and all these things will happen after Hezekiah’s death). Hezekiah’s response to this was, The word of the Lord is good, for it will not happen during my lifetime!
Wow! Instead of being desperate before the Lord for His people and even his own house, since they were to be taken into captivity, Hezekiah was OK with God’s judgement over him and his people, since it will not happen during his lifetime! Here we see a selfish king, who didn’t care for anyone or anything else but himself: he didn’t care for his people, for God’s people, or even for his own family – all he loved was himself! He was so self-centered and so self-loving!
Coming back to ourselves, in regards to this matter, it is possible that even us – who seek the Lord with all our heart – to be like Hezekiah, that is, to seek the Lord for His interest only 20% and underneath, hiddenly, to seek our own interest / comfort for 80% of the time. We may seek the Lord and His economy for part of the time, at least during the meetings, or conferences, but then for 80% of the time our seeking is for ourselves, for what benefits us personally…. This matter of loving our self is so intrinsic and so close to us that none of us can escape it if it were not for the Lord’s mercy! We need to come to Him and ask Him to have mercy on us, to deliver us from self-seeking and from loving ourselves, so that we may seek the Lord for His economy and His interest, for His good pleasure!
What is the solution to this? We see in Isaiah 40:31 that those who wait on Jehovah will renew their strength, they will mount up wings like eagles, they will run and will not faint…. – in ourselves, we can’t do it. That’s why we need to wait on the Lord – stop ourselves with our living, our doing, and our activities! We need to stop ourselves and receive God in Christ as our life, our person, and our replacement! Hezekiah was a godly man who was discharged by God but not yet replaced with Christ – we need to stop ourselves with all our doings and let Christ live in us! We need to daily learn to take Christ as our life, our person, and our replacement. This will make us be like the eagles, always soaring above the environment. This stopping ourselves by calling on the name of the Lord and waiting on Him will cut the expression and seeking of our self – we exercise our spirit to deny our self and live by another life, the life in our spirit! When unbelievers try to “stop themselves”, they have nothing else there; but we the believers in Christ have the Lord living in us! Whenever we stop and wait on the Lord, enjoy Him, call on Him, He has a way to live in us! There’s another life in our spirit waiting for us to stop ourselves, deny ourselves, and let it live in us! [enjoyment from the Crystallization-study of Isaiah(1), message 8]
Lord, have mercy on us that we may no longer live in ourselves and by ourselves! Save us for any more seeking our own interest and having our own personal hidden desires even while seeking You! Lord, do remind us to stop ourselves and take You as our life and our person! Replace us more, Lord, in our daily practical things / activities. We want to be those who stop and wait on You!